Yesterday I flew from Seattle to Detroit. On the way there I was sitting next to a fat guy who cramped my space, had loud kids, kept farting, and had some weird skin problem on his ears that he kept picking at. He and his wife kept switching spots to sit next to the kids and she was even bigger. Then I got on my second flight in Minneapolis. This time the guy sitting next to me was this hard-fronting gansta' type who was studying to be in the Air Force or something. As we were waiting to leave his phone kept ringing and his ring-tone was some hip-hop track about getting some "bitch" to suck his dick. It was loud as hell. In addition, somehow the airline got three 20-something girls sitting next to each other who didn't know each other but who talked all the way to Detroit about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and how creepy "Christian-Scientologists" are, Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie, Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings. One of the girls apparently had a LoTR tattoo of some sort that she described as "soooo cool!". I was surrounded by stupid people! Scientoligists (or Christian-Scientologists - whatever the fuck that is) may be weird but dumb chicks with LoTR tattoos are even weirder. They also had a conversation about the fact that they didn't have boyfriends. Perhaps I should have offered the following as a possibile explanation for their single-status: guys who like girls with LoTR tattoos are probably Christian-Scientologists...